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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #1
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    Sep 2009
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    Wink Joke of the day

    "Why did the scarecrow win an award???"

    haha - your gunna love this.....


    "because he was outstanding in his field!!!!"

    snigger snort.........
    Regards,

    Cade.

    2006 Landcruiser HDJ100 (1HD-FTE) 20,000 on bio
    2006 Ford Courier(WLT Motor), 10,000 on bio
    2002 Landcruiser HZJ105r (1HZ motor) 250,000 on bio (sold)
    2006 Mazda B2500 (WLT motor) 80,000 on bio (sold)



  2. #2
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    Re: Joke of the day

    ok here goes
    "The fight we had last night was my fault"
    my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

    There are lots but I think I'd offend someone on this planet by saying them.

    Michael
    97 Jeep XJ Cherokee on B100. 0 km's on B100 and counting !!!! (Sold)
    2002 Merc ML270 now on B100. (Sold)
    2006 Ssangyong Musso 2.9 t idi (Sold)
    2015 NP300 Navara

    Stainless processor with blue water pump.

  3. #3
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    Re: Joke of the day

    i know what you mean.
    I bought my wife the a book "things a monkey could cook".....

  4. #4
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    Re: Joke of the day

    If a man is standing in the middle of a forest and there is no one around, if he says something is he still wrong?
    Last edited by tillyfromparadise; 23rd October 2012 at 05:59 PM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Mount Gambier
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    Re: Joke of the day

    So the idot goes into spares at his local dealership and says "I need a part for my engine, its part #710. The guy behind the counter says part numbers dont have three digits, it cant be 710. the bloke said "nah it was on my engine, but I forgot to put it back on. I will draw it, so he drew the part and as he wrote 710 on it the guy on the other side of the counter laughed and said "thats not 710, its upside down thats the OIL filler cap!"
    cheers<BR>Chris.<BR>1990 landcruiser 80, 1HD-T two tank, copper pipe HE+ 20 plate FPHE, toyota solenoids and filters. 1978 300D, elsbett one tank system.<BR>

  6. #6
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Things to ponder:

    - Why did Kamakazi pilots wear helmets?

    - Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

    - If Nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

    - Why is it, whether you sit up or down, the result is the same?

    - Is there another word for thesaurus?




    and a really deep thought:


    Is the colour orange named after the fruit of the same name, or is the fruit named after the colour? Which came first? the fruit or the colour?


    Regards,

    Cade.

    2006 Landcruiser HDJ100 (1HD-FTE) 20,000 on bio
    2006 Ford Courier(WLT Motor), 10,000 on bio
    2002 Landcruiser HZJ105r (1HZ motor) 250,000 on bio (sold)
    2006 Mazda B2500 (WLT motor) 80,000 on bio (sold)



  7. #7
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Quote Originally Posted by tillyfromparadise View Post
    If a man is standing in the middle of a forest and there is no one around, if he says something is he still wrong?
    I heard this one before but it was worded differntly
    If a man speaks in a forest and no woman hears him is he still wrong?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Victoria
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    445

    Re: Joke of the day

    It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
    A man only needs to be:

    1. a friend
    2. a companion
    3. a lover
    4. a brother
    5. a father
    6. a master
    7. a chef
    8. an electrician
    9. a carpenter
    10. a plumber
    11. a mechanic
    12. a decorator
    13. a stylist
    14. a sexologist
    15. a gynecologist
    16. a psychologist
    17. a pest exterminator
    18. a psychiatrist
    19. a healer
    20. a good listener
    21. an organizer
    22. a good father
    23. very clean
    24. sympathetic
    25. athletic
    26. warm
    27. attentive
    28. gallant
    29. intelligent
    30. funny
    31. creative
    32. tender
    33. strong
    34. understanding
    35. tolerant
    36. prudent
    37. ambitious
    38. capable
    39. courageous
    40. determined
    41. true
    42. dependable
    43. passionate
    44. compassionate

    WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

    45. give her compliments regularly
    46. love shopping
    47. be honest
    48. be very rich
    49. not stress her out
    50. not look at other girls

    AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

    51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
    52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

    IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

    54. Never to forget:
    * birthdays
    * anniversaries
    * arrangements she makes


    HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

    1. Show up naked
    2. Bring alcohol
    HJ45 Landcruiser Troopy
    Home made 2 tank system
    Blending in main diesel tank
    SVO/WVO Converted 18/01/08
    http://www.biofuelsforum.com/svo_users/3667-hj45_troopy_conversion.html

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Cade it's not really one word but I believe Synonym-Finder is another word for Thesaurus.

    If a Parsley farmer is sued does he have his wages garnished ????

    If a stealth bomber crashed in a forest would it make any noise ??

    An I think we all went to the same joke site ......hahahhahahahaha

    and then there's the one about the Closet Claustrophobic !!!!!!!
    97 Jeep XJ Cherokee on B100. 0 km's on B100 and counting !!!! (Sold)
    2002 Merc ML270 now on B100. (Sold)
    2006 Ssangyong Musso 2.9 t idi (Sold)
    2015 NP300 Navara

    Stainless processor with blue water pump.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Brisbane (North Side)
    Posts
    740

    Re: Joke of the day

    You went to a joke site?????

    Cheater.
    Regards,

    Cade.

    2006 Landcruiser HDJ100 (1HD-FTE) 20,000 on bio
    2006 Ford Courier(WLT Motor), 10,000 on bio
    2002 Landcruiser HZJ105r (1HZ motor) 250,000 on bio (sold)
    2006 Mazda B2500 (WLT motor) 80,000 on bio (sold)



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